deathwantsme

I stared blankly at the TV that was sitting on my desk that I used for both my gaming consoles and my PC, as I quickly start to realize that I had no interest in using anything that was plugged into it for anything. Over the past couple of days, I really hadn't had an interest in much of anything yet I felt like just sleeping was lame though it’s warm embrace was rather tempting at the moment and was almost winning the constant battle of what I might do next. I let out a heavy sigh as I was about to get out of my chair to do just that when I heard the giggle behind me so instead of forcing myself out of the chair, I’m up and turn

     As I sit at my desk, I allow my thoughts to wonder. Is it even worth trying these last few weeks I have left? I'm sure that's what Lucy would want at this point, if she's even real. I mean, I have to believe she is real even if I haven't seen her. That feeling was so distinct. So. Real.     Even now I am still so indecisive about the whole thing. There are times when that's all I can think about and it drives me crazy. A couple of nights ago, that very internal debate kept me up for hours after I had intended to go to bed. I didn't sleep very well after I eventually fell asleep.     I sometimes feel like I have conversations with her i